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WHY AM I NOT OPRAH WINFREY’S HALF SISTER? Cue the depressing Dido music.

January 24, 2011
by Rachel Elizabeth

This woman Patricia is the luckiest person on the planet. She literally just won the genetic lottery. She must have saved an ancient civilization from erupting into civil war in a previous life or something. If you haven’t heard the story, read this.

On a positive note, sisters are great. Mine are pretty good at bedazzling stuff, wearing matching outfits, and lookin’ good in Christmas card photos but THEY ARE NOT OPRAH WINFREY. First Kate Middleton steals my boyfriend, now Patricia is stealing my sister… who’s next? Stay away from Grandma! (Barbara Streisand). The universe is trying to orphan me.

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